One of the many things I have learned from having a child is to let go of the precious and just make when I can and as quickly as I can. Mia has started to enjoy mark making with crayons so it’s fun to collaborate on our forays into abstract expressionism. That, plus the art history book I am currently devouring are providing the perfect background and inspiration.
Her magic rules my days, even more so when we are apart than when we are together. I will never forget the parting words of the older Jamaican nurse who discharged us at the hospital. I loved her stern, straightforward yet caring demeanor so much, I wished she could come home with us. She mentioned how now slowly Mia will become her own person, with her own hormones, she will slowly shed all that is mine and that kept us connected for 9 months. I think of this often as I think of how once a cord connected us but slowly Mia will find her own way in the world and there will come a day when she will think that she does not want the physical connections we make now. And that will be ok. For now, I cherish the endless snuggles, the 1000 kisses per day and the breastfeeding she has not yet weaned off of.
The thing I probably miss the most about New York City is the people. The people I knew and the people I didn’t know but could have known. I think of the subway and the fashions I miss. There’s a little more thrill in dressing for the NY subway but there’s also relief in not having to when I am having a fat day. I think of this as I hold a wrinkled copy of the 12/03 New Yorker while on the SF BART. And I know it’s natural for longing to strike.